"now that I've turned 21, however, these seemingly trivial squabbles have suddenly become an issue of personal freedom and space"-CLEO, free speech by Selina Leong
I came across an article in the recent cleo magazine and found it an interesting enough topic to begin with. Since my audience are mostly young adults, it triggers me to grab the chance to analyse and find out how young adults feel about the need of having bigger personal space and freedom.
I will first start by analysing the current situation that i see here in Singapore. Personally, i feel that a majority of local kids, as compared to many other countries, are well known to be pampered and spoiled. Largely due to the trend of small families, whereby most households choose to stick with one or two children, they make sure their children would receive the best.
This is what causes the problem, young adults of my age who are brought up in such an environment are often found to be taking things for granted. It is no longer about how late you come home, but about how many days your parents have not seen you. The rubber bands are already pulling at its furthest, but yet we are still yearning for more.
Zooming in to the situation we see, many young people voted that the best solution is to simply bid their parents adieu and strike out on their own. That is when they can experience a period of growth, independence, freedom and stepping into adulthood. But reality is how many are really prepared and capable to move out.
Apart from money issues, I am sure there are factors which relates back to our culture, background and personality that are affecting our perceptions which in turn hold us back.
Dating back, our asian culture is that we only move out after marriage. Comparing to the Westerners, Asian's thinking are certainly more conservative and chooses to walk on the safest side of the road. Many parents feel that wanting to move out for the sake of freedom and independence is unnecessary, ironically, they started questioning back if the house is not providing and treating you good enough.
The environment and ways we are brought up also influence our mindsets. As stated above, many of us are blessed to be brought up in a condusive and well provided environment, and therefore does not see the need to sacrifice whatever they have now.
Lastly, the biggest thing that I consider about is how the parents might feel. The game should not only involve a selfish individual. After so many years of hardship to bring a child up, putting up with all the little and big nonsense we gave, though not expecting much in return, who would bear the thought of the child moving out once his wings are grown.
I don't deny, after seeing many of my friends who came alone to Singapore for their studies, I dream about it too. But there are too many cons over the pros if I were to weigh them all out. Most probably because my mum does a very good job in showing me that life can't get any better with her around in the house and I am in really close terms with her. Plus since my dad is not with us, I feel the responsibility to be around her.
Now the debate is: Putting aside money issues, would you still want to move out once you hit 21? Why? Let's share our views (:
i agree that culture and the way most of us were brought up has had us so pampered that we underestimate the obstacles waiting for us should we move out.
ReplyDeleteAs an only child myself, i can safely admit that growing up, my mum has done most of the work around house such as the cooking and cleaning.
All i was responsible for was cleaning up after myself (washing my own dishes after dinner, putting the clothes i wanted into the laundry bin & putting folded clothes back into the cupboard).
Just by performing those simple chores and keeping my own room clean, i might think that im ready enough to strike out on my own.
but the fact is the clothes do not get washed & ironed by themselves, dinner together with the pots and pans do not get cooked and washed by themselves, & fruits and snacks do not appear by magic in the kitchen for me to cook & slice myself.
my point is, we might do what we think is a lot around the house to alievate our parent's workload. but by thinking that we have already done a lot just goes to show how pampered we really are!
that is why i would consider moving out if i ever had the opportunity because i believe i have lived with my mother's comfort for far too long to truly appreciate it! that said, moving out would not be an act of "leaving once i get my wings" (:
if anything, it would only serve to remind me more of the things my mother has done for me & spur me on even further to love & treasure my mother more (:
hi flybutterflyfly,
ReplyDeleteyou makes me reflect that human or even animals wont learn to appreciate stuffs and just take alot for granted. though ironically we can even say it for ourselves, but yet we know we will only treasure when we finally felt the lost.
hope the situation does improve, but thats just human nature. it is sad to know that we have to do things to such extend in order that we ourselves will realise it.
being asian, i feel like i'm obliged to stay with my parents until i start my own family. practically, there are 2 main reasons why i wouldn't want to move out at 21. so that they can witness my progression from a child into an adult and hopefully, feel proud of their own son. secondly, so that i learn as much as i can from the people i trust most in this world, my parents.
ReplyDeleteactually not long ago westerners also did the same as Asians...it was not till world wars and industrialization did that fall apart. but never the less moving out when your a legal adult(21) is a good thing, it has its cons but in the end the pros out weigh the cons. trust me. ;-P
ReplyDeleteIf money is not an issue, I will still choose to move out. To me, this is the best way to learn to be independent and really get to do things yourself from every aspects. Back home, when you are too busy or lazy, there will always be your mom there helping you out. But when you live alone, fat hope. We must all admit we are too sheltered and pampered back home.
ReplyDeletePlus, you can always choose to stay near your parents so that you can still pop by and visit them as often as you could and make sure that all are fine and well for them too.
Also, one do not need to stay out for too long. One to two years will be more than enough for you to really learn the hard way of life plus the most important, treasure and appreciate all that your family had done for you all the while with or without your knowledge. This could in turn bring the relationship closer too. More love, care and concern around. More please and thank you. More appreciation and tolerance. A total different view one will get! :)
well, tis prob is really getting very serious in the current century.
ReplyDeleteYoungsters mostly hope to get out of their parent's clutches ASAP when their parents had already given them adequate freedom and space.
However, i feel that it totally depends, some are fortunate that they have really understanding parents whom they feel like frenz to stick with whereas there r others who really wanna move out bcoz they feel their parents care more on authority rather den showing more care n concern for their kids.
Of coz, other den family issues, external issues like fren influence also exist.
Anyway, for those who determined to move out jus for the sake of freedom, they will return back to their nest again sooner or later bcoz of the lack of preparations both pyhsically and emotionally.
Last but not least, parents are the one who brought up us. No matter wad, we shld not abandoned them or leave them alone even though we are up to the age to live on our own.
For westerners it is most often a necessity to move out of the house due the size of their countries. For example, America is such a vast country, teens who aim to get a place in ivy league colleges have no choice but to uproot and move to other states to attend school. Likewise for jobs, there is always the stigma that bigger cities hold potential for more and better paid employment so people leave home for other states.
ReplyDeleteThis has such been the culture for america since the hay days and culturally it is deemed "uncool" to live with your parents or to dwell in your home state for the rest of your life.
In our small sunny island of singapore, we don't have to practise all of the above at age 21....economically speaking.