Your couch or mine?

''The world is friendlier through a website where you host foreign visitors or stay at their homes.''

-Article attached here

About a week ago, I read about this particular website on straits times. CouchSurfing.org was set up as a worldwide network for making connections between travellers and the local communities they visit. We can put it simply as letting a total stranger sleep over at your house, or you travelling overseas and bunking in to other's apartment for free.
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We have been reminded time and time again to be cautious while using the internet to make connections. We were told not to meet up strangers, not to trust people in the virtual world etc. Yet now, CouchSurfing is promoting and building this 'risky' new hobby for interested participants.

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We learnt that interpersonal relationships are built with another individual to satisfy personal social needs and goals. Through CouchSurfing, members benefit not only by getting free accommodation and free hosting, but also much about to enjoy the cultural exchange and get a local feel of the place they are visiting. CouchSurfing therefore contributes immensely to the global shift in consciousness.

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I would say this type of relationship is much of a surface thing, it does not goes deep into self disclosure or the need for looking into other attributes. Users start engaging through the website, viewing through photos, profiles and testimonials. Management starts when the host and traveller meet where they enjoy their face to face interaction. Three days later, it is disengagement. Therefore, I would say CouchSurfing is generally building short term relationships, which people give, take and leave.

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It certainly has brought upon many convenience and benefits for travellers, but I personally still feel that there are too many negative factors over the gains to such relationships. It might sound really great to interact and have someone from a different culture to mix with. But what makes one trust a totally unknown stranger from another country, who might share different culture, values and beliefs, to stay over in the house. I would rather put in more effort and time in finding more reliable sources through friends, workplace, school etc. It just sounds much more practical to me than putting myself into unnecessary risks.

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One frequent traveller and member of CouchSurfing said that "People are finally breaking those boundaries of fear and separation, and opening their homes to "complete strangers" who are actually part of them in the same way that different drops of water are part of each other in a big ocean. And this ocean will now just keep getting bigger and more powerful." I agree that CouchSurfing is doing a great job in bringing people together, making another big step towards globalisation. But is it going to work that simply? There are just way too many uncertainties. I just hope while looking at the benefits of it, people will protect themselves and not let any mishaps affect them.

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What do you think? (:

Sexually Challenged- your definition

"Many sexually challenged women were among the most vocal and vociferous supporters of the old guard."

The above statement was extracted from a letter written by Dr Thio Su Mien, as response to the gay agenda issue of Association of Women for Action and Research (Aware).

The letter mainly states that Aware had veered it's initial purpose into promoting the lesbianism and homosexuality political agenda. Disturbed by what she saw, she began urging women she knew to challenge Aware’s attempts to redefine marriage and families.

Having enough said of whether Aware had been doing the right thing, the focus here is that the phrase 'sexually challenged women' used in the letter seemed to have aroused many people's concern. The urban dictionary shows that 'sexually challenged' is a politically correct word for homosexual. It is perhaps supposely understood that Dr Thio had used the phrase in place of the word 'lesbians.'

This is of course still up to individuals to define it. However, I have to agree that there is definitely some attached meaning to the phrase used. Some readers found it rude and offensive as they relate the phrase 'sexually challenged' as to being 'sexually incline.' Does this then mean to categorise lebians as sexually incompetent women.

Therefore, readers rebutted that Dr Thio, a born-again christian, isn't giving respect to the homosexual ladies.

Personally, I read the attached meaning, paired together with the words 'vocal and vociferous,' as women who choose to defy the nature of sexuality. It sounds like lesbians are ones who are trying to challenge their way through and defy the society, promoting the feminist issue, and definitely this is not the case. Thus, I stand my view that the phrase 'sexually challenged' shouldn't be used.

There might be some self-serving bias here as I have always been open about homosexuals, probably due to the friends and environment influence. I have seen many pairs who really care and love each other, definitely not for the sake of being a feminist or whatever. Therefore emotions and feelings are sure to struck me. Similarly, the reason why Dr Thio would use the phrase, it might be because of her christianity status that affects how she perceive certain issues.

The language used is subjective, and a simple phrase here had evoked many thoughts and perceptions. So, what do you see in the phrase? (:

Reference: Dr Thio's Letter

I'm dying to move out of my parents house (edited and followed up)

"now that I've turned 21, however, these seemingly trivial squabbles have suddenly become an issue of personal freedom and space"-CLEO, free speech by Selina Leong

I came across an article in the recent cleo magazine and found it an interesting enough topic to begin with. Since my audience are mostly young adults, it triggers me to grab the chance to analyse and find out how young adults feel about the need of having bigger personal space and freedom.

I will first start by analysing the current situation that i see here in Singapore. Personally, i feel that a majority of local kids, as compared to many other countries, are well known to be pampered and spoiled. Largely due to the trend of small families, whereby most households choose to stick with one or two children, they make sure their children would receive the best.

This is what causes the problem, young adults of my age who are brought up in such an environment are often found to be taking things for granted. It is no longer about how late you come home, but about how many days your parents have not seen you. The rubber bands are already pulling at its furthest, but yet we are still yearning for more.

Zooming in to the situation we see, many young people voted that the best solution is to simply bid their parents adieu and strike out on their own. That is when they can experience a period of growth, independence, freedom and stepping into adulthood. But reality is how many are really prepared and capable to move out.

Apart from money issues, I am sure there are factors which relates back to our culture, background and personality that are affecting our perceptions which in turn hold us back.

Dating back, our asian culture is that we only move out after marriage. Comparing to the Westerners, Asian's thinking are certainly more conservative and chooses to walk on the safest side of the road. Many parents feel that wanting to move out for the sake of freedom and independence is unnecessary, ironically, they started questioning back if the house is not providing and treating you good enough.

The environment and ways we are brought up also influence our mindsets. As stated above, many of us are blessed to be brought up in a condusive and well provided environment, and therefore does not see the need to sacrifice whatever they have now.

Lastly, the biggest thing that I consider about is how the parents might feel. The game should not only involve a selfish individual. After so many years of hardship to bring a child up, putting up with all the little and big nonsense we gave, though not expecting much in return, who would bear the thought of the child moving out once his wings are grown.

I don't deny, after seeing many of my friends who came alone to Singapore for their studies, I dream about it too. But there are too many cons over the pros if I were to weigh them all out. Most probably because my mum does a very good job in showing me that life can't get any better with her around in the house and I am in really close terms with her. Plus since my dad is not with us, I feel the responsibility to be around her.

Now the debate is: Putting aside money issues, would you still want to move out once you hit 21? Why? Let's share our views (:

I am dying to move out of my parents' house

"now that I've turned 21, however, these seemingly trivial squabbles have suddenly become an issue of personal freedom and space"-CLEO, free speech by Selina Leong

I came across an article in the recent cleo magazine and found it an interesting enough topic to begin with. Why? Because my audience are mostly at the age of being a young adult, reaching the point whereby we hope to be treated somehow differently, whereby freedom and space becomes a big issue between the parents and us.

The situation I've observed is no longer about how late you come home, but about how many days your parents have not seen you. The rubber bands are already pulling at its furthest, but yet we are still yearning for more.

To most of us, moving out represents a period of growth, independence, freedom and stepping into adulthood. Besides the fact that we can finally eat fast food for every meal, club the whole night and come back dead drunk, wearing our socks for three consecutive days etc.
Will we suddenly too realise the heap of unwashed clothes piling up, the missing mum's famous homecooked meals and some warm yakking voices?

The writer wrote that many young people today simply can't wait to bid their parents adieu and strike out on their own. I know, who doesn't fancy the thought of having their own little space?

Many that I asked told me that money is the thing that stopped them from moving out. But I am sure there are factors which relates back to our culture, background and personality that are really holding us back. Comparing to the Westerners, Asian's thinking are certainly more conservative and chooses to walk on the safest side of the road. The environment and ways we are brought up also influence our mindsets.

To me, the biggest thing that I consider about is how the parents might feel. After so many years of hardship to bring a child up, putting up with all the little and big nonsense we gave, though not expecting much in return, who would bear the thought of the child moving out once his wings are grown.

I don't deny, after seeing many of my friends who came alone to Singapore for their studies, I dream about it too. But there are too many cons over the pros if I were to weigh them all out. Most probably because my mum does a very good job in showing me that life can't get any better with her around in the house and I am in really close terms with her. Plus since my dad is not with us, I feel the responsibility to be around her.

Now, the debate here is: Would you move out once you hit 21 if money wasn't going to be an issue? why? Lets share our views. (:

-sources from CLEO magazine and jupiter images.